And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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