We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
