so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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