And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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