OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
