Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
