covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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