I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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