Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The air was thick with penises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
