He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
