Where are you?
In a non slutty way
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
wow bdsm is so cute
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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