Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
