If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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