i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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