I think my vagina is haunted
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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