you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
