Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
