Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am available for nakedness
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
