Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
