Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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