Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
