Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
