My first STD was from a foam party
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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