So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize