You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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