I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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