I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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