Kiss
Puke
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dick very happy bro
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
