you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize