Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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