fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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