I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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