new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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