Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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