I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
