You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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