I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
