He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
