I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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