Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
