then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
