So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
