OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
