I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
