I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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