people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
