6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
