Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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