No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
