Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
