I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
