id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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