pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
