You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
