How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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