Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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