i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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